as my junior year starts to wrap up (or atleast i try to think it is) i start to think more and more of the last year of my high school career. when i have to start thinking of college, and a career, and all that “grown up” stuff. am i getting a little ahead of myself?? i think we all do at this age!! but as i look back on my junior year, which has been the most up and down year ever, i think i have started to finally figure out some things….

one! my faith life has grown exponentially! the student leadership team has taught me so much! it is amazing to see how a bunch of kids from all over Texas can come together once every month or so and create amazing experiences for youth in our conference! so many of the SLT kids have taught me so many things and they dont even know it! but more importantly its taught me how to lead by example, and how to make an experience for a camper. so many kids come to a retreat and arent there to get a spiritual high, but its our job to lead them to that! but, its also our job to let kids have fun. ive learned its ok to be crazy and goofy! being crazy and out there could help a kid open up and start to enjoy the weekend. you can totally impact a kids life by just having fun with them, it doesnt have to be all about shoving the bible down their throat or whatever, haha. 

at rhumc, i was sad to give up veritas…. and kinda worried about our praise band playing at the early service every week. shoot, who wants to get up at 7 o clock every sunday to play music??? But it has amazed me. I have found its ok that our praise band is not normal and not as modern as some i have played in! we have fun, we do for God, and everyone has a passion for what they do. i have learned to not play drums to look cool, i do it to make someones worship experience better. i am even slowly branching out and learning to play the guitar! i think it would be awesome to be able to lead worship one day! 

so as senior year comes closer and closer i continue to think about what i wanna do. i want to continue to grow in my faith, push things that arent as important to the side, and worry about what is more important to me!

change. one of the hardest things to grasp in our lifes. But, as i look in the past and see all the change that has happened to me in the last 3 years, i look ahead and see even more change!! is this good or bad? 

something struck me at awaken this past week as i watched Rob Bell’s video. It brought up the topic of how we sometimes live in the past and spent more time remiscing about our past events than living today to the fullest. This got me thinking about how life is a constant maze. Just 4 years ago, i had no idea i would go through a move to the big city, a dad with a terminal illness, a death of a family member, having a stepdad, having a sister live 4 hours away, and the list goes on and on. But through this struggle I have learned to cope with change pretty well i would say. Simply, it happens. its inevitable that change happens, we should not dwell on how life is going to be so different with these changes, but instead look ahead and see what benefits these changes have. While this concept is hard to grasp as well, it something to strive for. 

Now as a time of even more change comes, i learned to look at all this in excitement. Things are changing, church is changing, school is changing, friends are changing, life is changing! But, through these changes comes a time of anxiousness. With school being so busy and stressful, its good to have time to sit and think about what really has changed. Some for the better, some for the rest. But, all these things shape who I am, and how I live. Through the good and the bad, I am who I am, and all my experiences shape me!

Going back to the Rob Bell video, i think another point he was getting at was along with finding ourselves looking in the past too much, the same goes for looking in the future. I find myself worrying about tomorrow before today, the same way i worry about what happened yesterday. I need to learn to literally just live in the moment, live for today, because you never know when something could happen. Life would be much more enjoyable if I could live for the present and make the most out of any situation. 

I know this entry was kinda a ramble session for me, but i just wanted to get my thoughts out there, thanks for reading and leave a comment!!!!

well. its been a while. and life is moving faster than ever. I am starting to get caught up in the very things I wanted to avoid! In summer it’s so easy to reflect on what is going on, and now, its like im going 100 miles per hour and never looking back! What does it take to slow things down? Dont get me wrong, its not like i am so terrible kid or even making bad decisions, i just havent been looking at life the same as i did in the summer. Tett’s “bring it home” that I tried to use worked until now! I think i need to start appreciating the few quiet moments I have, Just sit and listen and relax. 

    I think a second reason, is the people who taught me so much this summer that i surrounded my myself with almost all the time, arent there anymore. Well they are there, but just like me, their lifes are going 100 mph, but there trip is taking them in different directions from me! If their in band, im in soccer. If im at church, they are doing homework, if im doing soccer, they are at church. Life is just too crazy!! But its in these small amounts of quiet time I get I can finally reflect on what has been going on. While I can only go to church on sundays for now, that doesnt mean my faith cant grow. Even if I am loaded with homework or stress (usually both at the same time), i need to remember to simply trust in the lord with all of my heart. 

    Maybe I should also start to cherish the moments I do have with those  who make my faith stronger. I dont get to see the youth as much anymore, but when I do see them, why not make the best of it. In fact, when i see them on a regular basis I tend to overlook how much fun and how much I learn from them. And then all of the SLT and meadowbrookers, that I have only known for a short time, I see them even less! But, I have learned more from all of them about my faith life then anyone! Maybe, I should make more of an effort to see them as well. Many my problem is that opportunities arise all the time to see all of these people but I am not willing to make a sacrifice to see them! Maybe Its ok to be a little tired on monday at school if I could go to youth at RHUMC and awaken at meadowbrook! 

Also, I have started to find people at school that can help me in life, just as much as my “church” friends. Sure, its a little harder to find these people at school, but some of my friends at school have taught me many good things, and they dont even know it! 

Overall, my life is going fast and is only getting faster, along with everyone else! But maybe I need to just learn to put the brakes on and cherish the moments that make life worth living!

Proverbs 3:5-6,

Jonathan

I think for the post I am going to stray from one individual experience but instead I am going to focus more on a series of events.

Earlier this week I visited my old hometown, Belton, and it brought back so many memories. I spent the good portion of my childhood there and made many lifelong friends. It was a good experience to see my old friends and visit with them. But, in some ways it made me a little sad. It made me realize how much my life has changed in 3 short years.

3 years ago my dad was appointed to a new church, RHUMC, and my life was starting over! But, my family was still all there and honestly I had moved 4 other times so it wasn’t too bad. Then it all hit, my was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was cancerous a little less than a year since we had  moved. It often felt like a dream for me and my sisters and we often told each other, “sometimes it just doesn’t seem real”. And it was true. But in this horrible time, my dad revealed to me more of an inspiration than ever. Literally knowing he was destined for death his kind and gentle heart shown more than it ever did to me. He inspired everyone who was around him. I can remember him preaching on sunday morning from his walker. What dedication! He finally had to step down from senior pastor and it was very hard on us as a family. We had to move to a rent house. Life continued but dad still amazed me more and more. He would come to my soccer games and sit in the car because he couldn’t get out, but he was still there cheering me on. Words cannot describe what impression he made on my life. Then finally on April 13,2007 he passed on into heaven. We did mourn but it was not as much as I thought, instead we celebrated how he was in that better place, and I also know God has put him to work up there doing something that he needed to be doing, and that he is watching over  everyone in the family. 

Since then, life has changed even more, but you get used to the changes after so many of them. We moved yet again, my mom has recently remarried, to a very respectable man who is very different from Dad. But he was told me, he doesn’t want to try and be my Dad and just wants to be there for me. What a mature thing to say to me! I have much respect for him! 

On mission trip, I felt closer to Dad than I have felt since he passed away. I could tell he was proud of what I was doing and what a fine, young man I have become. I often think of what my Dad would do in a situation and try to copy his actions. It is a tough job since he was the kindest and most gently man most people have met! I could in no way get close to what he did, but atleast I can try. Overall I think my dad was the prime example of a person that in John Wesley’s words did all the good he can, by all the means he can, in all the ways he can, in all the places he can, at all the times he can, to all the people he can, as long as ever he can. To me, that is what my Dad did, and I will always remember that. Rest in Peace Dad 

ok, so here it is, the infamous mission trip blog where everyone is on their supposed spiritual ”high”. But, something clicked on friday night to where I am not going to settle for that at all, and hope to continue and in the words of Tett, “take it home” and bring it with me everywhere. First off, my goals. In some way, shape or fashion they were all met! My first goal which involved worship and getting people closer to God through worship was met to the fullest. I have never felt a more powerful worship service ever than the one we had friday night. As I was drumming I looked down into the pews and saw so many emotions, from sadness to joy, to passion, it was all there. Nothing satisfied me more than looking at during worship and seeing everyone so involved. people who at the beginning of the week had no interest in the songs or messages were singing their hearts out and crying!! What a experience i will never forget, ever. I hope that someday I can take part or be a part of a worship like that again. 

the second goal, which was not complaining on the worksite, was met as well. While I did gripe a little that the ticks were crazy and how I have picked 3 off of me so far, my work was done without complaining, in fact something quite the opposite happened. Often Greg would ask me to do something and I really doubted my self and didnt want to even try but he pushed to try these new things and it all worked out! Instead of complaining I got passed that and began to want to try new things on the worksite and it made me feel so good about myself! By not complaining it opened me up to new ideas and skills I aquired both physically and mentally. It broke down that mental barrier I had that I couldn’t do this certain thing or that, instead I just did it! its that simple! I learned how to take risks and not be afraid to mess up because my team was behind me the whole time no matter what I did right or wrong! what a feeling!

Lastly, my last goal was to get to know my team on a deeper level. and of course it happened. This team was the best team I have ever had at a mission trip, as well as Greg’s favorite team, and he has been on ALOT of them. We bonded so well together and worked so well. Not to hard, not to slow. We all got to know each other on as a individual and all got to hang one on one for a little I think. First there was greg, who kept us all going with his energy and his hard work, and sense of humor of course. Then Tre was there as a very good mother figure always encouraging. Cole seemed to always been there to help us students with anything we needed anytime in spite of his illness and sore throat. And Scott is one of the hardest workers I have ever seen! working more than anyone and always doing something, along with his quiet sense of humor. Steph is overall one of the most awesome people I have met. She was a gentle spirit and a willing hear to work wherever needed be. Lastly, Ellie I think was an inspiration to our whole team in handling all she went through and once again just is so joyful in everything she does and is always a happy person and makes others feel good doing that. The last night we all went out and prayed together as a group and sat in silence thinking of what ”greatness” we achieved that week. It was a very powerful experience as peoples deepest  troubles were lifted infront of what were just simple strangers a week earlier but now was our family!

Overall, This is the best mission trip I have been on by far, from worship, to work, to friends, to new friends, to everyone being one big family! While some might say smaller isn’t better I would disagree with that statement after this week. With our size we became a true community of God bonded by unity and and similar goals to achieve greatness. what an experience I will not forget anytime!

alright, so i decided (with matt’s help) to write a pre-mission trip post and a after-mission trip post. What I hope to do in this one is to get down some thoughts and expections of what I hope will happen on mission trip and see if it all comes true! or atleast some of it will!

First of all, I feel that too often I have looked at getting to play the drums as a privilege and getting to ”rock out” and such. And while some of this is in good fun, I think I am often missing the point. Its not about me getting the chance to be cool and get to play the drums for worship. Its about God. It seems like a basic idea but I promise almost every praise band struggles with this idea, and I am guilty of it as well! I need to realize I am doing this to make others worship experience better, and so maybe they can feel God during worship! How much more joy would that bring to me than being the ”cool” guy! So goal number 1 is…. to experince God through worship and help others do the same however I need to do that. I would say that is a good goal eh?

Second goal involves the working part of mission trip. Alot of times I go to mission trip and its hot, and humid, and too long of a work day.( Just to name a few of the normal complaints). So, this a very hefty goal, but my goal is to not complain on the worksite. Now this may seem a little impossible, especially for me being a little bit of a complainer, but what good is a goal if it doesnt stretch you a little! There are some obvious reasons as to why one would want to this, but deeper I think it will bring me that much closer to God over the course of the week. If I could go from the beginning of the day when I wake up until I fall asleep at night and not have any negative thoughts throughout the day, i.e. complaining and such, my relationship with God will have more time to grow infinitely! 

Lastly, I want to know my team on a deeper level than usual. It seems every year again, your work team seems to get so close and its all good and fun, but I want to make it a goal to get to know my members of the team a little deeper. What do they struggle with back at home? What is their faith journey like? We all have something in common being at this trip all week, so why not learn more about their relationship with God and see what you have in common with them? 

Overall, these goals seem like they could be reached, with some struggle and will power! Will it be difficult to reach all 3? I would say so! So, What do you think about these goals? or do you have any other similar goals?? Tell me about it! 

Proverbs 3:5-6,

Jonathan B.

Hey guys, I have joined the blogging world again and hope to put down some of my thoughts and spiritual journeys and struggles on here and hope to get some advice and feedback from others so that I can continue to grow in my faith journey! 

My first entry will mainly be about my first trip of the summer for the CTC SLT retreat and good ol’ annual conference! Early Saturday morning I was off on an adventure  and was honestly a little worried about it coming in. I was not sure how this whole retreat was going to work out and didn’t want to feel out of place in a student leadership team where it seemed like everyone knew someone else, except me. But, it turned out to be a enlightening experience and was jammed pack with God’s good work from beginning to end. Once we started planning events it really came out to me what an awesome group of kids were there. What group of kids are willing to spend their weekends sitting in a room planning for events. Thats what makes this group already so special and close to me! How awesome is it that 30 high school students came together and totally decided to start fresh with new ideas for events this year instead of just staying with the same old things that might have worked ok and fine. We all decided that its time to change, for better or worse we need change! It is a hard thing to grasp but can turn out to be better than imagined. All in all, we got rid of Ignite and 68 degrees and have decided for one day ”rallies” in waco. One for Jr. high and one for high school. Also we decided for an extended midwinter where we were hope to change the spiritual lives of these campers in just a simple weekend. 

     After the retreat I headed off to Annual Conference along with about 10 other SLT kids. Over the next 3 days I really got to know these kids well, as well as Joy, Ward, and Amanda, the adults. Once again these people amazed me from beginning to end, spending their first week of summer at a conference where we were literally the only youth out of thousands of people there. In my personal experience I saw many of my dad’s old pastor buddies which was neat for me! Also, Me, Mel, And Turk had to sit in the very front row, right in the center infront of the bishop. But, we luckily made through it through with the many pounds of candy we consumed and the many liters of soda we drank! Truly, it was a neat experience to see how the church works at a much larger level than the local church, how we decide our very beliefs, and the amount of people filled with God’s joy all there for the same reason. Lastly, the most memorable moment happened in a very unlikely place for me. As I stood in line to buy a book called “Blue Like Jazz” I started a conversation with a man who I did not know, as he talked how much he enjoyed the book and how excited he was to see a youth there at conference so interested in the church he did a simple thing, bought my book for me! While it seems like such a small deed, it will make a life time impact on me! Little does he know, I will always remember him for his kind heart and how he was the highlight of my first Annual Conference. Its people like that that I strive to be like everyday! 

I know this was a long one but I needed to get alot out! please feel free to give advice, comments, or anything! thanks!